Monday, March 07, 2005

i killed a gopher with a stick

I promised my friend, Dubious Guy I would come up with the following list of things I've done that YOU probably haven't. He's right... it was harder than I thought.

In no particular order:

1. Contracted bartonella's disease (also known as cat scratch fever)

2. Worked on a fruitcake factory assembly line

3. Took unknown drugs in Amsterdam and thought everyone was a robot

4. Survived a tornado

5. Killed a rabbit with a rock

6. Won an industry award for best newscaster in the country three years in a row

7. Passed out at work from exhaustion on three separate occasions (once rushed to the hospital in an ambulance and once awakened to paramedics standing over me)

8. Drove my car through a utility pole, a tree and a swing set (plowed them right over) in a park (all the same accident) without wearing a seatbelt... and walked away without a bruise, bump or scratch. (This was also the first of several horrible accidents I walked away from unharmed, convincing me that God has something very, very special in store for me. Also, I may be invincible).

9. 'Apprehended' by armed, federal agents at an airport for attempting to take two handguns through security (pre-911... they were fake guns and it was an honest mistake)

10. Partied with Todd Rundgren


5 Comments:

At 9:16 PM, Blogger Random Libertarian said...

Here's my list:

10) Cut a wart off my hand with a steak knife

9) Defeated an eight months-pregnant woman in a tournament game of chess

8) Taken a sauna with eight buck-naked Finnish college girls (all different hair colors)

7) Defecated into a paper bag and thrown it down the trash chute in my apartment

6) Defeated a blind man in a tournament game of chess

5) Smashed glass bottles in the parking lot of my elementary school; later forced by principal to sweep up the glass

4) Got high and read the Bible (online, since I don't own one) and thought I was having this spiritual awakening where Jesus came to me (around 4 separate times)

3) Took mushrooms and thought the pattern of light on my wall was the continent of Africa and I was hovering over it so high I could see the outline of the entire continent, yet I was somehow low enough to call down to the tribespeople and wave at them. This lasted for about half an hour.

2) Asked Andre Agassi's coach a question

1) Visited the largest cheese store in all of Scandinavia!

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Random Libertarian said...

Where did you party w/ Rundgren?

 
At 4:13 AM, Blogger blue2go said...

Wow, quite a list. They are interesting and would each make a great post, hint hint....

 
At 9:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here goes nothing:
1. Shook Jack Kevorkian's hand at my elementary school.

2. Defaced the Indonesian embassy with fake blood.

3. Had sex in the office of the president of the American Center for Polish Culture.

4. Saved my brother from drowning.

5. Sold vibrators over the phone for an adult novelty wholesaler.

6. Hit my head on a diving board.

7. Hitchhiked alone in Ohio.

8. Urinated into a frying pan while camping because it was the middle of the night and freezing and I was afraid of bears and didn't want to leave the tent. I later threw the frying pan in some bushes.

9. Posed nude for an artist who used the drawings in a controversial Holocaust memorial exhibit.

10. Shot an Uzi in Cambodia.

 
At 9:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here goes nothing:
1. Shook Jack Kevorkian's hand at my elementary school.

2. Defaced the Indonesian embassy with fake blood.

3. Had sex in the office of the president of the American Center for Polish Culture.

4. Saved my brother from drowning.

5. Sold vibrators over the phone for an adult novelty wholesaler.

6. Hit my head on a diving board.

7. Hitchhiked alone in Ohio.

8. Urinated into a frying pan while camping because it was the middle of the night and freezing and I was afraid of bears and didn't want to leave the tent. I later threw the frying pan in some bushes.

9. Posed nude for an artist who used the drawings in a controversial Holocaust memorial exhibit.

10. Shot an Uzi in Cambodia.

 

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